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Cool Mom?

I was taken aback one day when a woman approached me and told me that I look like such a 'cool' mom. Apparently, it was from some content on a few social network posts of mine and not from actual reality.  It made me laugh out-loud. It felt encouraging for a second and I thanked them, but I didn't want to lead them astray believing some picturesque Norman Rockwell family lifestyle was the norm.  I mean if I have misled anyone than I am so sorry. Instagram pictures are limited in frame size. If we could expand that little box to the bigger picture it would be quite a different perspective, like I told them. So here is the real story. This is what is really happening in the background. We only want to show our achievements not our epic failures. I mean if I can do one thing right, just one in that whole day than it has been an awesome day. But I mess up a lot. My house is often dirty. I have a daily stack of dishes, laundry and even though I love to cook as a stress relief, I probably burn about a 1/4 of what I make. I try not to but it happens and I get really upset with myself especially when you try to stick with a budget per week. I cannot multitask to save my life. I can hardly think when two things are happening at once. My mind just shuts down. I am sadly co-dependent on my daily vice... coffee. My kids know when I have waited until lunchtime to actually make some for myself. Though, my husband is just as bad as I am. I bribe my children all the time and keep them up way too late sometimes just so we can have extra family time & teachable moments. Nothing ever goes as planned. It is truly sweet chaos

As a mother of two, I have recently discovered that I have been thrown into a realm of young mothers who find each other to talk about the latest parenting techniques and whatnots. It is almost like an inevitable right of passage that one cannot escape in this phase of life. It can be well informing and can make you want to flee to the next exit. Though I rarely see my share of frequent playgroups, I do bump into the occasional discussions without really meaning to. Don't get me wrong, I do not mind the conversation but sometimes it feels almost draining and unending. I live with it on a daily basis, why do we have to talk about it. Why can't we talk about other meaningful things? I tend to be one that just listens to the women around me and the constant conundrum of suggestions being tossed about like I had a front row seat at the French Open. I guess it looks like advice but it is morphing into something a bit more sinister. Even with good intentions, it becomes a strange sense of grandiose grandmotherly advice meaning "your way is the better way".  It is just an observation. I don't think it is anyone's fault.  I think it has to do with our society and our culture. Whatever the mainstream media tells us what the next celebrity trend is; it becomes our model. They are telling us how to be a certain kind of woman.

In this day in age of social networking and social pinning, it seems as if there is a competitive drive to be the best wife and best mom. As if one is outdoing the other like some game to achieve the utmost status built on a high expectation that our society creates. In order to be a perfect wife you must be this kind of woman _____ . In order to be a top notch mom that has it all together you must be doing ___ and ___and have the right ____. It may not be this overt but I know its there and women (especially young mothers) are constantly comparing themselves to each other and are not measuring up the way they seem fit. Don't get me wrong I love Pinterest and recipe articles and creative blogs but that is not what needs to determine how we raise our children, how we mother and how we build our relationships. In fact, it may do the exact opposite if we aren't too careful. As women, we hold a lot of insecurities, which can turn into the ugly green monster called guilt when its not recognized and put into perspective. I know this isn't anything new and has been going on for quite some time in the female race. But when you get yourself into this vicious cycle, it will never be good enough.

I have only been a mom for a little over 4 years now and a wife for 5 years. I can tell you it is a huge undertaking that is not to be taken lightly. Parenting is rewarding and exhausting for anyone. And marriage can be even harder if not cultivated carefully especially when children need your constant attention and affection. I have the utmost respect for single working moms and dads. It has to be tough. We all have different lives, different jobs, different incomes, different schedules, different circumstances, and different views on parenting. We are also very different people with different backgrounds who are going to parent differently. Like it or not, how we were raised almost always defines how we parent even in the least amount of influence. 

I understand it takes a village to raise a child. Anyone feel a sense of relief with this age-old truth? In reality, we all need each other. We need to understand that we are all imperfect people which will make us imperfect in our roles as significant others, parents and friends. I also think we are loosing the true art of seeking wisdom and advice from the people closest to us and older than us. We look to articles and posts on social networks and the next trendy pin to tell us how to mother and please our husbands without first going to the ones we need to go to and that is the ones we love. Ask your husband how he wants to be pleased. Do NOT let a magazine tell you. The people in our life who have been in our shoes and who have birthed and raised us hold a special amount of information and wisdom with experience. These relationships do not need to be replaced but utilized and respected. What is a mom or an aunt or a grandmother but someone who just sits and gives a listening ear to our frustrations and shortcomings as young mothers. We don't necessarily need the advice just a confirmation that they have all been there and that it is completely normal to come to a place where we understand that we don't have it all together and that there is great freedom in that. 

I have NO advice here for young mothers. I still consider myself a fairly new mom or a so-called 'toddler mom.' I feel honored when another mom seeks my advice. I almost wonder why they are even coming to me at all. All I can say it is that is a struggle and a daily learning process for me as well. The way I mother may be different and is most certainly nothing special in comparison. In fact, with having two kids I have to try and figure out the differences and needs in my own kids to figure out how to best mother to each of them. When I finally figure that out, they will probably be grown with children of their own. 

I think what makes a good mother is one that is honest with herself. She lays all expectations under the table and sweeps them out the door, for good. Then, she becomes vulnerable with other women around her and finds humor in everything. We will always mess up and our standards belong to no one but God alone. He created us uniquely different and we are the 'perfect' parent for the particular child or children he gives us or will give to us one day. Like a man and wife, who is an imperfect soul 'perfect' for his or her own imperfect soul mate. Take courage in that. There is no burden there. What a joyful sacrifice it is to be a mom. Even an imperfect mom can create a child who turns out fairly okay. And we have to forgive ourselves daily. 

One week I had an incident with my 4-year-old daughter. She was having stomach problems and we were hours away from home driving late one night. My daughter has a great amount of anxiety when it comes to going number 2 in a 'public' restroom. She always asks to go home or to a grandmother's house. It is fairly normal I mean who likes going to public bathrooms. She is a very private person who needs her ducks in a row. That is who she is as a girl. Well I was so concerned about her physical body that I forgot about her emotional need. I knew she was in pain so I literally stood over her in a gas station in Somewhere, TX for quite a while to get her to go because I knew her body was telling her she needed to go and she was bent over in pain. I felt helpless as a mom. I did not know what to do. Out of frustration I took her back to the car and told her she had some items that she loved to play with taken away for a whole week. She was devastated. I could tell for the next two days that she kept bringing up her stuff and could tell me why it was taken away. "Because I didn't poo poo in the gas station." 

I tossed and turned one night and the Lord really convicted me over the incident. I try to parent with grace but I withheld what she needed that day. I started to talk with her in the car about her fear and why she just refused to go even though she had a tummy ache. (I really think this girl could never poop her pants even on a strong laxative because of her stubbornness) The noises and environment create a great amount of fear and anxiety to the point her legs shake. So I left the conversation open. The next morning she got in bed with me and I was almost in tears. I had to apologize to my four-year-old daughter. I had to tell her that mommy messed up and I need to ask for forgiveness. I had no idea how she would take that. Then in her little child voice she said, "its okay mommy, you were protecting me." I was blown away. What God taught me in those little 5 minutes of an early morning conversation was everything. How did she know and understand my feelings? How did she not hate me? There was discipline there that should have just been understanding, patience and grace. So she was able to have her toys back that very day. I told her that I would never make her go again especially since I had never done that before that day. It was not like me as a mom and probably confused her. Nor would it ever be something that would need discipline. I just told her that if she needed to go and we were not near home, that I would do whatever it took to get her home as soon as I could as long as she communicated with me.

I know I am spending more time about being a mom than a wife on this blog but I think there is a similar understanding when it comes to owning up to the fact that there is beauty and freedom in imperfection and it goes for marriage too. I believe what makes a good wife is also one that is honest with herself and with her spouse. She lays down all of her expectations together with her husband and they push it out the door. Your needs become mine and my needs become yours and we do our best to communicate our needs to each other and know that we will do whatever it takes to make sure we are meeting the realistic ones for that day. We also need to be vulnerable and constantly be in a spirit of forgiveness and listen to each other. We also have our own insecurities and we need to recognize them but not let them rule and master our emotions and reactions. My husband cannot perfectly fulfill me and he never will. Only Jesus can meet that void in my life and he does every day. And because of that, as a husband and wife we can rest in this and love each other deeply with this truth. I can actually love him more because of it and honor him knowing that he feels the same way. We have to be reminded of this on a daily basis. And praying for each other and together is a gift and it is a weapon that can sustain your marriage and your family from anything. I love my God, I love my husband and I love my children. Sometimes I don't feel like I deserve any of it and God reminds me of how proud he is and that he puts everything in place. I enjoy and take pleasure in all of it, the beauty and the chaos that it brings. I wouldn't have it any other way. Our circumstances can make us stronger if we can grow our perspective and embrace that fact that we are all in this together and all struggle with very similar and often silly insecurities.

We are beautiful mothers and beautiful women. We are a gift. Our God kisses us daily when exhaustion hits or when we do something simple and mundane and even when we mess up or react in a way that we shouldn't have. We have all experienced those moments. After all, we are human. Our children adore us more than we can possibly know. There is a reason Jesus was fond of children. They have a natural ability to see truth and honesty and can forgive with ease. We don't have to be that hard on ourselves. The most precious thing a mother can do is just sit and play with your child and in that time open your ear to your child and listen to what they have to say. Those moments are precious and it brings the best out of them, and in turn, the best out of you. We all need to be listened to. Nothing else really matters. These are the moments that pass so quickly. Those are most important. 

We must take time out for ourselves and devote time with our spouses. It will refresh you and make you a better mom and wife. I promise!!!  You won't miss anything or mess up a baby's schedule. You are the best mom for your child. No one can tell you otherwise. We all have very good advice for each other and can try different things out even if it doesn't work for us. But, not one way is more effective than another. Every mom I know and see near me I always think, wow they are amazing. 

All a child wants is you. And as my children are sleeping I think to myself, what will I learn new as a mom tomorrow that only my children can teach me? 

- Bethy

(I love the Norman Rockwell painting above. What appear to be a man and wife arguing about politics while their child remain bored on the floor. So glad my husband and I have fairly strong and similar views because I am one strong-minded individual in my belief system and things could get pretty heated. Though I love myself a good argument. It always ends well eventually. J

Love & Truth are one and the same.

Today I drove through Starbucks and got my usual soy iced latte. While I was ordering, my children were in the backseat sweating and complaining of hunger and my 3-year-old kept saying she wanted to go to 'chik-P-lay'.  And, little did they know that they would soon get a real lesson in politics. After all, I was going to need the caffeine after seeing the ridiculous line of cars and people at Chik-fil-A. So, I decided to go but not without my Starbucks latte.

What do the two establishments have in common? Well one company supports the LGBTcommunity and its rights/ benefits for same sex couples while the other upholds family values and seeks to keep the traditional definition of marriage (male& female) both through various organizations and lobbyists. One uses fairtrade and organic products while the other uses free range chicken shot with antibiotics and hydrogenated oils. So there you go. Today I went to my local chik-fil-A to support a man who backs my own views & opinions in regards to the biblical sense of marriage and family. (Not because of a few of the organizations that Chik-fil-A's money has gone to for example ExodusInternational and Family Research Council). I have nothing against Focus on the Family and we share the same views on biblical matters and parenting. People may have gone today for other various reasons but that’s where I stood knowing that the actual President didn't ask for this. But we share the same moral and biblical mindset and we hold to it strongly with every fiber of our being. Here is my experience:

I walked into a very crowded fast food place. It was filled with people! It was hot and reeked of chicken and sweat. But no one seemed to be complaining. All of the workers were beyond stressed & overwhelmed but worked diligently. I couldn't help but feel for them. They didn't sign up for this. A lady was walking with a newborn and people kept bumping into her. One lady bumped into me and my lemonade literally went flying and busted on the floor. With my two children in tow I tried to clean it up for fear of someone slipping. The lady who bumped into me graciously got me another one even though I told her not to worry about it that I didn't really need it. The line was long and I was feeling the stress. Luckily my kids were okay though I was doing my best to keep them on me at all times. We sat down finally and started to eat. It was a different vibe. I knew why most people were there. And I was eavesdropping on conversations all around me about politics, about rights, about beliefs, about freedom of speech. It was crowded but peaceful. In the middle of our lunch ayoung man walked in. He loudly spoke up to all who would hear about freedom and the rights of individuals mostly from his perspective and how wrong we were.The man had to shout...there was just too many people and all started to quiet down just a bit to see and hear what was going on and who was shouting. The man said what he thought needed to be said and walked out with a Chik-fil-A drinkin hand. And what happened then saddened me the most. A murmur of chuckling grew around me as the man was already in the parking lot. Maybe this is a simple human response? But it didn't feel right & it was no laughing matter. It’s a very real & serious matter with real people involved especially when it is so close to the upcoming November election. The act resembled what my mouth tasted like. Chicken and Starbucks lattes are gross together. I had a bitter taste in my mouth and in my heart. My 1-year-old sonstarted crying because the man was loud and disruptive. My daughter was wide-eyed with fear and uncertainty and looking to me for the next move. Afterall, it was my fault for subjecting them to something that had a sensitive cause behind it. Though they may be too young for politics they aren't by any means too young for the biblical principles our family believes in wholeheartedly. And that’s why I went and got a few kids meals. My heart went out to him even though I don't think he should have been so disruptive to a silent support though it’s to be expected. I hear you! I don't agree with youbut I hear you! It’s okay to disagree but it’s not okay to treat someone else with such distaste. And no I don't expect everyone at Chick-fil that day to befilled with the love & compassion of Jesus. We soon left after that. It began to feel wrong for me being there because of it. I didn't want to associate myself with negligence. The man could have taken more peaceful ways to counter respond, in fact, I hear there may be one on Friday. And he walked into a hornet's nest. Anyways, the reason I had my Starbucks in hand was because I mean to show no disrespect, hatred, name-calling, ignorance, or become blind or deaf to a community with a different lifestyle then mine who is calling out for civil rights and a broader acceptance to their community. We may agree to disagree politically and morally but I will not mock your stance or your person.  But one thing we can agree on, is that it’s complicated, especially on the federal level and we must be sensitive and respectful to each other's needs. Just like you cannot separate your person from your lifestyle, I cannot separate my political and moral beliefs from my spiritual beliefs. They are everything I am. I know you feel the same way. Some may believe in their own moral code and themselves. I do not believe in my self. I died to myself long ago and my moral code is given to me by scripture and a God given standard living in which I am instructed to teach my children and I have to be obedient about it otherwise I will be taken as a liar to God, to my children,to my grandchildren and to all making the Bible false, and my God a liar which is not truth if I side with something that is to its core immoral. That moral code never changes. My God whom I worship never changes. I understand politically that I cannot win any argument with scripture when one doesn't believe in it or a Creator. I get that! Just know that’s where I come from. And I will vote the way I vote and do my best to be honorable and treat all persons with dignity regardless. I do not wish to be divisive on that level. You are not my enemy because I call you beloved friend.  But on lifestyle I have to disagree. I don't wish to deny anyone a right. I view marriage as sacred. But no one can tell a person how to vote and that's the beauty of it. If anything is disagreeable with what I believe in faith no matter how much I love someone I have to side with faith. If I see a potential attack on marriage and it's definition I get red flags. I'm just trying to protect what is holy even if I loose. We have to abide by the acting law and policy. On defining marriage belonging to man and woman...I have to hold to just that because I can't in good conscience vote for something to make someone feel better and me feel better and it touch something my God holds sacred and holy. It's a dichotomy of emotion. But my faith isn't built on emotion. It's not hatred by any means. It's not anti anyone. I also don't agree that any Christian or Church or secular Conservative should bully someone who wants benefits. And I hope others from another argument wont bully others or proclaim ignorance on someone who views marriage as sacred. We need respect &forgiveness too just as you do and keep the political sphere peaceful. No one should be ostracized because of a lifestyle or a belief system. I would be honored if someone from a different lifestyle would come worship alongside me even with a partner. And if anyone has denied you that right to attend a church setting than they have to take that up with God because that is beyond wrong & unthinkable.

So what's really the issue? The issue is that November is coming and the presidential election has already brought up many of an issue to be addressed.One is obviously the state of our economy, abortion is even strongly in the mix, and another is the civil rights of the LGBT community and what that could ultimately mean for the definition of marriage. Currently, 6 states recognize same-sex marriages. We are in the middle of court rulings and legislative action regarding this issue per state but not by popular vote. Nine states prohibit it and 30 prohibit it in their constitution. A few give most benefits to individuals and some give few benefits to those in a domestic partnership. President Barack Obama made a huge political move by publicly declaring his support and thereby undoing his former stance. So what are the rights either full or in part?

There are 1,138 benefits, rights and protections provided on the basis of marital status in Federal law. The Defense of Marriage Act defines "marriage" as only a legal union between one man and one woman, same-sex couples - even if legally married in their state - will not be considered spouses for purposes of federal law. There is great controversy in this. On one side, homosexual advocates seek not to redefine what marriage is for religion but to modify civil marriage to include them benefits and all. (Well not yet any way) There is resistance to the traditional sense that marriage is a sacred practice on moral and religious grounds. So what is the difference between Marriage and civil unions? This is where it gets complicated. Opponents also see marriage today whether in regards to religious or secular differences as being shaky in its social morals. There is divorce, there is promiscuity, abandonment, and needs for spousal and child support on both the religious and secular level. That is where we are. I see more harm then good. I see stepping-stones to a destruction of social morale. Has it gone too far? Marriage between man and woman is sacred for many. Is it pushing morality to the brink? Societies and cultures and religions spanning time have put restrictions on the relatively new practice of same-sex marriage. There is a point where we are to question it. One cannot marry a relative, nor can they marry a child and have society call it okay because that individual calls it moral especially in the US. At least I hope we can agree on that and I know that is a stretch and by no means a comparison. I also fear lawsuits being thrown at churches, ministers, and priests by crying out 'discrimination'for one withholding a blessing or ceremony because one does not agree with what is being asked of their services based on biblical principle if they choose to do so. It’s easier to choose to go elsewhere.  Is it discriminating someone who is not Christian to be hired into a pastoral position for instance in a church setting? I mean could it come to this? Do we call separation of Church and State on both accounts? Is everything a civil rights issue, is everything going to be labeled as hate and discrimination? And no this shouldn't be compared to the Civil Rights movement, which is very different and is actually its own sensitive subject and it is disrespectful to those whosuffered during that time. It's a poor strategy I could see backfiring. Regardless, it’s a states issue on a political level and not a federal issue. I know many would disagree and I know it's a painful and hurtful issue. I'm still struggling & wrestling with it. We are dealing with real lives. 

My heart

Now I am speaking to those who are practicing Christians and who are Biblicists. I speak truth out of love & great remorse because this only applies to you all. If you are reading this and don't believe in God nor believe scripture holds validity then don't read any further...but I advise you to learn because I go out of my way to look at all perspectives and educate myself on all sides so that I am not the ignorant one in my discussion withothers though you may not understand it whatsoever. I cannot and will not change my beliefs about what marriage is suppose to be about and here is why: I believe that downgrading it anymore than it already has will lead to a snowball affect in what little morale our nation has left as a whole both within the secular realm and the church. There is a movement for tolerance and social acceptance of making what’s immoral neo-moral and it’s bigger than just the issue of homosexuality, that’s just one step especially for extremists on the issue. We need some morals to believe in. It’s all we have left. We are a greedy, promiscuous nation. And it even falls upon our education system. Our kids are raised into accepting and tolerating new-moralism and being okay with it as if it's acceptable and downgrading other views as not just another truth but a falsehood in unintelligent thinking. Secularism is religion. I have to teach my kids that it’s a god that we do not worship. We can be aware of it but not tolerate it. We are in the world but not of the world. Scripture is VERY clear on how God the Father views homosexuality as well as other sexual sin. (are we not all at fault in some ways?) If you are confused on where you stand on this...then you are confused on what the Bible says about it. You need to pray and seek God on this. Scripture is a living breathing document seen as a whole not as parts. It doesn't change God. It’s sharper than a two-edged sword andcuts and divides bone from marrow. It hurts but it’s never unloving or neglectful on any person.  I know it’s difficult because we all have close friends with this lifestyle. It grieves me! It is not hatred of a person or persons. If God sees a lifestyle and its ultimate destruction of his creation an abomination than you should to. Sin leads to death. Divorce is the death of a marriage is it not? The very reason God hates it. The fall of mankind was a type of divorce on his creation that was once very good in His eyes. He has to hate sin by His nature. In the end, it kills His creation. We are all the adulteress woman who ran away from God and indulged ourselves. And we are ALL without excuse and are all sinners. Our devotion is first to him. Here is what scripture says about unlawful sexual relations whether itspractices of homosexuality, prostitution, orgy, divorce and/or adultery,(unmarital sex or extramarital sex) bestiality, and idolatry. Mind you...theyare strong.

The truth on sexual Immorality

I go now to Romans 1 & 2

 ..."The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them. For since creation of the world God's invisible qualities -his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.  For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, their thinking became futile, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God. And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things, which are not proper. Being filled with unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; fully of envy, murder, strife, deceit,malice, they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, arrogant, boastful,inventors of evil, disobedient to their parents, without understanding,untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful, and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, not only do the same but have pleasure in them that do them. Therefore you have no excuse,everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practices the same things. And we know that the judgment of God rightly falls upon those who practice such things. But do you suppose this, O man-you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself-that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you think lightly of the riches of his kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing the kindness of God leads you to repentance? But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God, who will render to each person according to his deeds."(that is all of us)  

Leviticus 18:22 "you shall not lie with a male as one lieswith a female; it’s an abomination.

Leviticus 20:13 "If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a female, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their blood guiltiness is upon them.

1 Corinthians 6:11 "Or do you not know that the unrighteous wil not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators,nor idolaters, nor adulterers, no effeminate (by perversion), nor homosexuals,nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but your were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord JesusChrist and in the Spirit of God."(do you see yourself, I sure do...truth is none are righteous but my sin was covered by the blood of Jesus)

1 Timothy1: 8 "But we know that the Law is good, if one uses it lawfully, realizing that the fact that law is not made for a righteous person, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and the sinners, for the unholy and the profane, for those who kill their fathers or mother's, for murderers and immoral men and homosexuals and kidnappers and liars and perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound teaching. 

The Truth about Exposing Sin

And to those who misinterpret Matthew 7 "Judge not, lest you be judged, since you will be judged in the same judgment that you make, and you will be measured by the same standard you apply..." it is meant to warn against self deception & hypocrisy. We are called to call out sin; we are called to be accountable to each other otherwise we ourselves are in sin for withholding truth and keeping restoration from happening to believers. But we must do so in a loving matter and in scripture there is a proper process to restore an individual who is a believer with gentleness and tact. Yes God will judge the world ultimately and he will also judge believers.  This is the main argument for those who support tolerance. And it’s not by any means biblical or accurate. And it’s unloving, unjust, &ungodly. And it will lead others astray. If there is one lost sheep among us we are to drop everything and go after them. We are to judge false believers and test all things whether they are Godly or ungodly and discern the spirits. The beginning of Matthew 7 addresses that we should be weary of our own specks in our own eyes. After all it's easier to throw judgment on others overt sin than looking at our own hidden sin.. 

Live as Children as Light in a Dark World

Ephesians 5..."and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma, But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you as is proper among saints. And there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse joking, which are not fitting, but rather giving thanks. For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure personor covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom ofChrist and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God come upon the sons of disobedience.  Therefore do not be partakers with them for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord, walk as children of light. (For the fruit of Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth) trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. Do not participate in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is disgraceful even to speak of the things, which are done by them in secret. But all things become visible when they are exposedby the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. For this reason it says, "Awake, sleeper, and arise from the dead, And Christ will shine on you."

Prayfor our Nation

I pray that God withholds his wrath on this nation. I know history and I know God, and I know the ultimate enemy's cunning ways and I am but a small but bright light in a room of darkness, and I know as Christians its our duty to get down on our knees and pray and fast. The prophets of old did it, Jesus cried out to God on the cross "Father forgive them!" when those who knew of God and his law condemned the one to death who called himself Son of God. All I can do now is be moved in compassion to pray and plead for God to withhold his destruction and extend his grace and to pour out his spirit and loving kindness for his peoples sake. We acknowledge our nation makes a mockery out of you. I too have plenty of sin drawn in my own dirt some of which may not be as exposed to society making me an outcast. Lord, continue to destroy any part of me that resembles a Pharisee and the attitude of self-righteousness that only belongs to you." And my people who are called by my name humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and will heal their land. (2Chronicles 2:14).

Believers pray for your marriage with your spouse. It’s the nearest thing we have to resembling and upholding the image of God and how Christ is suppose to love the Church. This is more constructive than eating a fried chicken sandwich. Do not let anything have a foothold in destroying this institution, which was meant for one man and one woman to enjoy, to procreate and honor Godwith our bodies.

I mean no disrespect and this may be taken as offensive. But without truth I have no love. And without love I have no truth. They cannot be divided. And in everything that I hold dear to...I would be a liar in my faith if I did not expose truth and bring forth light into dark times. As a child of God, as a wife, as a mother and a fellow sister in Christ I have to set an example. To this I am not sorry. My morals are here to stay. We may agree to disagree but know my side is just as apparent and real as yours. May we not bully one another but discuss and listen. I mean it when I say at the end of the day I will eat with you and be involved in your lives regardless of policy. If you need me on your deathbed I would hold your hand and your partner's hand and will cry and mourn and pray and grieve. We are doing life together. Because it boils down to this:  I see man and his needs and his potential, I don't see lifestyle. God looks at the heart of a man. I see life and soul and I see hope.


Respectfully, 

Bethany